What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Two words: blizzard sex
The Olympian is in my bed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
