grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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