i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
