I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
