Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
