Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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