i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
