Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
