I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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