dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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