I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
