He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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