i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
