My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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