Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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