The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize