tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
