So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
