This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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