What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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