And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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