I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
