Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I still have a little drunk in my system
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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