Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
