i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize