i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Even my vagina gasped.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Randomize
