just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There are leaves in my underwear?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
