But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
