I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
