If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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