No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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