I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
