I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
