Just fell off a train. Bad.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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