You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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