found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
