my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize