Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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