I'm eating all of the evidence.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
