U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
