True but thats because hes a fetus.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
