Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize