why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
