I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
