what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
