She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
