Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
