Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
