I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So vagazzling was a success
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
