I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
