Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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