My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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