It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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