her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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