do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
