I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize