he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
