My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Randomize
