DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
