Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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